Another Post On Being Feminine

Since turning 20 years old, I’ve been reinventing myself a bit. I’ve spent my entire life until this point being proud of the fact that I wasn’t feminine. I would look with contempt on girls who had pink notebooks, curled their hair, got their nails done, and listened to pop music. I thought dancing was ridiculous, I thought people who read fashion magazines were airheads, I very rarely wore a skirt or dress, I wore heels about once every few years, I despised the sound of girls laughing and gossiping, I never watched “girly” shows, I never tried to learn to do my make-up right, and in general I prided myself on feeling somehow superior to these robots. I’m not saying that I didn’t care about my appearance, in fact I cared so much that I spent every day paranoid that one hair was out of place in my ugly, plain pony tail (that I wore every single day… ugh) or that my lip gloss had smudged out of my lip line.

This year I’ve decided that I don’t care if I seem girly. I’m actually attempting to learn how to be more feminine. I learned how to curl my hair for the first time in my life about a week ago and I’ve also recently learned how to use bronzer, use a highlighting powder to sculpt, and how to refrain from putting my hair in a boring ponytail every day. I’ve also started reading fashion magazines because I know absolutely nothing about fashion and I want to learn. The most embarrassing change I’ve made is allowing myself to like certain pop music. My rule used to be “if it’s on the radio, it isn’t worth listening to” but I’ve allowed myself to buy a few songs on iTunes from Rihanna, Beyonce, and… Britney Spears… yes, even Britney Spears. I’m still struggling with the fact that I actually like some pop music because it used to be indie or nothing at all.

I am a woman and I feel liberated by the fact that I’m not trying to impress anyone anymore with my anti-feminine “coolness.” Though, I’ll admit I felt like people were judging me today because I was wearing a pink shirt, pink shoes, and a pink purse… but I’m working on it! I’m working on not giving a shit what they think of me. If you’re pretending to be less feminine because you think it makes you superior or more interesting, just be yourself!